Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Did you really just say that?!


Since 2008 when my youngest turned 3, I’ve heard some gold nuggets of advice aimed at my now diagnosed ADHD son. Its interesting how every single parent seems to think they are an authority on how my child should be raised and more importantly, disciplined.
Half way through 2012 after enduring 2 dreadful years of pre-school followed by 18 months of hell in primary school, we received his diagnosis and suddenly I had an ‘official’ response to all those know-it-all’s – your opinion may seem valid to you, but to me, the mother of a child with ADHD, your opinion is uneducated and unwanted.

You see, I’d heard it all, from: “that is just a temper tantrum, don’t entertain that, smack him” to “you should get him more active and tire him out.” Well no, he isn’t throwing a tantrum or smacking other kids because he is naughty, he just doesn’t know how to communicate the words from thought to speech and this child has never been a good sleeper and dealing with an exhausted over-tired child is much worse than one who is happily awake.
When he started kindergarten, the comments continued: “he is just a naughty troublemaker,” “I would never let my child do that” to “don’t worry he will outgrow it.” Well, for starters, he is simply trying to get attention because he cannot communicate like any other child in the class, I have a different view to parenting my ADHD child to how you would parent your non-ADHD child and I would never dream of criticising your parenting, why do you criticise mine? And for the record, I’m an adult with ADHD, he is born of my genes, so chances are, he won’t outgrow this.

The school even went so far as to suggest I attend several parenting classes. Every couple of weeks a crumpled note would surface out of his school bag advertising a “Triple P” course or a “parenting ‘spirited kids” course – none of which seemed relevant to me.
I’m not sure if his diagnosis made things better so much as suddenly everyone seems to have an excuse or explanation for his behaviour and instead of getting the help he needed, he was pushed to the back of the class and ignored – they knew there was ‘something wrong’ and this seems to provide a good enough excuse for anything. It didn’t however stop the phone calls and meetings I was required to endure where my parenting skills and how I was managing his behaviour were constantly questioned and scrutinised.

Then we got to 2013 – year 2 – and we hit the lottery – THE most amazing teacher ever to walk this earth fell into our laps. This woman was softly spoken and caring and my youngest son blossomed – under the guidance of a positive, happy person who focused on achievement rather than negatives completely changed my son’s life. Suddenly he was excited about school and accepted praise and rewards for his achievements. In 2014 we hit the lottery for the 2nd year in a row when this amazing teacher purposefully changed to teach year 3 so that she could have my son in her class again. I’m not religious in any way, shape or form, but this lady was heaven sent.
Unfortunately our streak of luck ended when he entered year 4 – a rookie teacher who had only been teaching for about 2 years, no children of her own and absolutely no experience with ADHD whatsoever. A gen-y with absolutely no patience whatsoever. Within 1 month, everything my son had achieved in the 2 years preceding, was destroyed. He became introverted and lost all self-esteem. Our first major incident occurred when my son’s involuntary movement annoyed her enough to scream her head off at him in class then make him sit on the floor by the door like a dog. I lost the plot and suddenly the Department of Education decided it was time to get involved when I threatened to expose the so-called support my son was supposed to be receiving at a top Sydney primary school known for it’s education achievements and self-promotion of helping ALL children, no matter what.

For a while it got better but then nearing the end of the year, this same teacher pushed my son just a little too far and suddenly we found ourselves talking him down the balcony of a second story school building.
NONE of this was done by a naughty, attention seeking, undisciplined, too much technology watching, lazy and unmotivated and stupid little boy. In fact, he is quite intelligent but lacks the ability and focus to work as required, he struggles to communicate and technology has its place in our home, but it is well controlled and limited. People are quite to forget this is a CHILD you are referring to in this negative manner. So before you judge my son and my parenting, perhaps stop and consider that there is so much more going on that you are not aware of.

That naughty little sh*t you sneered at yesterday, is my beautiful boy who is so loveable and in touch with his emotions but can only accept physical love and affection when HE needs it due to his sensory processing disorder. He can’t go to sleep at night until he has sat on my lap like a koala and run through his little night time routine of eskimo kisses, angel kisses and attempts to rub his freckles off his cheeks onto mine.
That undisciplined, stupid child you made fun of with other parents at afternoon pick up is my highly intelligent son whose IQ is way above kids his age. He has the ability to hyper focus on things he finds interesting and can speak your ear off about stuff you would only read in an encyclopedia.

The loud, seemingly bossy child on the playground is my son who doesn’t understand social queues and etiquette. All he wants is to be chosen, to be included with everyone else. He is trying to be heard in the only way that he knows how. Rest assured, we are working on this and the fact that he is even on the playground playing with other kids shows how far he has come from shutting himself up in a quiet corner reading a book during play time.

Please stop dismissing ADHD as an excuse. It is a real, proven to exist condition but it does not define people. ADHD people are quite responsible and can function just like everyone else. ADHD is not a product of poor parenting or a broken home. I’m probably as versed on the subject of ADHD as many paediatricians and psychologists, in fact, as an adult with ADHD I hold a degree and several diplomas – we are capable of learning. My husband is very supportive and is actively involved in how ADHD is managed in our home.
How many of these comments have you said about some random child that you do not know? I feel sorry for you if you continue to do so after reading this – it must be a very sad existence spending your one chance on this planet judging others instead of finding ways to accept all.

Sunday, 1 May 2016

Really ... ?

I have juat realised what has been bugging me that i would be wide awake at 5am on a Sunday.
All of you know that I have always been extremely transparent about my life, my anxiety and OCD as well as my kids ADHD journeys. I do this because I want people to know the real me and love me for who I really am. I also hope that in the process I can also shed a little light and education on things that aren't often spoken of.
Problem is, human nature incorrectly interprets my transparency as my seeking approval for my choices and decisions or an opportunity for judgement of those choices and decisions. I share all of this because I don't want my children growing up believing that their ADHD and subsequently their ADHD medication, is a dirty little secret that must never be spoken about or that having anxiety or OCD is something to be ashamed of. My children must learn to thrive and conquer that which slows them down and learn to function despite those obstacles.
As my friends I would naturally expect you all to have thoughts and suggestions about the situation from your 'outside' perspective, which you are absolutely entitled to. I know everything you say to me comes from a place of love. Please just understand that you don't have ALL the puzzle pieces so while you may think you are right, chances are there are many more factors which make what you're saying less relevant. I've NEVER denied any of you your opinion and always listened to what you've had to say. The hard to swallow part for me is when opinions and suggestions become judgements.
i am trying my best to get through all of this with very little support and resources while still trying to maintain work and everything else. I know what James needs and I am trying to get this for him, its just taking me a little longer while dealing with a tonne of personal issues myself with my own dr. Rest assured James is safe and as his mom I would rather die than let harm come to him.
We sometimes think we are helping by offering opinions and thoughts and suggestions when in fact someone like me in the situation I'm in right now it just feels like I'm being buried alive under it all. Please know that i love you and value you more than you all know. Its just that i need support rather than your ... you should's.
Bottom line really ... i feel like I am at my capacity 100% of the time and I'm exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically from trying to keep my head above water. Please think twice about the words you are about to speak, not only to me but to everyone in your life. Make sure they are building block words rather than wrecking balls.

Imagine ...

Imagine if your child told you he wanted to kill himself.
Imagine that your child is only 11 and suffers from ADHD, SPD and anxiety.
Now imagine dealing with this on top of everyday stresses like work, running a household, personal health issues including going blind rapidly AND trying to maintain friendships.
So please understand that I have A LOT going on in my world right now and that I'm not purposely ignoring you nor do I think my battles are bigger than yours.
I don't want nor need to be shut out, ignored or harrassed with phonealls of how you can help me when we both know you are simply fishing for fodder for gossip. Please just understand that you are not on my immediate priority list and at this point in time I have myself and my family to focus on.
I does not mean that i don't care, I just can't RIGHT NOW.
I've had a particularly tough day today and have had to come home to deal with suicide thoughts with said child.
I ask that before you pick up the phone or send a text that you try, just try, to empathise with what we are dealing with and accept that i really don't feel like sharing more than this with anyone. Its too much for ume to bear and our friendships are already feeling strain, the friendships can't handle this pressure, trust me. I've seen a few come and go.