Really ... ?

I have juat realised what has been bugging me that i would be wide awake at 5am on a Sunday.

All of you know that I have always been extremely transparent about my life, my anxiety and OCD as well as my kids ADHD journeys. I do this because I want people to know the real me and love me for who I really am. I also hope that in the process I can also shed a little light and education on things that aren't often spoken of.

Problem is, human nature incorrectly interprets my transparency as my seeking approval for my choices and decisions or an opportunity for judgement of those choices and decisions. I share all of this because I don't want my children growing up believing that their ADHD and subsequently their ADHD medication, is a dirty little secret that must never be spoken about or that having anxiety or OCD is something to be ashamed of. My children must learn to thrive and conquer that which slows them down and learn to function despite those obstacles.

As my friends I would naturally expect you all to have thoughts and suggestions about the situation from your 'outside' perspective, which you are absolutely entitled to. I know everything you say to me comes from a place of love. Please just understand that you don't have ALL the puzzle pieces so while you may think you are right, chances are there are many more factors which make what you're saying less relevant. I've NEVER denied any of you your opinion and always listened to what you've had to say. The hard to swallow part for me is when opinions and suggestions become judgements.

i am trying my best to get through all of this with very little support and resources while still trying to maintain work and everything else. I know what James needs and I am trying to get this for him, its just taking me a little longer while dealing with a tonne of personal issues myself with my own dr. Rest assured James is safe and as his mom I would rather die than let harm come to him.

We sometimes think we are helping by offering opinions and thoughts and suggestions when in fact someone like me in the situation I'm in right now it just feels like I'm being buried alive under it all. Please know that i love you and value you more than you all know. Its just that i need support rather than your ... you should's.

Bottom line really ... i feel like I am at my capacity 100% of the time and I'm exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically from trying to keep my head above water. Please think twice about the words you are about to speak, not only to me but to everyone in your life. Make sure they are building block words rather than wrecking balls.