Letter to school - 24/08/2015 - Step 1

Afternoon all,

 

I hope this email finds you well - there is a bit of a bug going around at the moment.

 

We are trying to address the areas where James has difficulty.

 

After several incidents on the [playground around the game of handball, we thought it would be good to perhaps address James's lack of social skills. That's not to say he doesn't have any, we just feel that perhaps he misses a lot of the social cues from his peers and people he deals with on a daily basis.

 

To perhaps work on the peer-to-peer matter, we were thinking of perhaps trying to socialise James with some of the other kids in the class on a one-on-one basis.

 

Amanda, this is perhaps where you would be most knowledgeable.

Are you perhaps able to name 2 or 3 kids in the class that you feel James may get along better with or who you think may share similar interests to James. 

 

I will then privately approach the parents via email to explain our intentions and set up a play date at our home that not only has a time limit but has some structured and planned activities for the time to enable James to become more familiar with social interaction with peers where he may be more aware of social cues i.e. learn what is appropriate behaviour and what isn't, how these behaviours may affect other kids.

 

James does already have play dates but with kids he has known for a very long time who know of his character/behaviour and wouldn't necessarily pull him up for saying/doing anything incorrectly.

In terms of how James interacts with adults in his life. Mrs Taylor is well aware that we (I.e at home) do not tolerate rudeness or disrespect from James, towards adults in particular. We have always maintained that he will listen and be respectful when speaking with adults. This lesson obviously seems to have been misplaced.

 

We are now constantly reminding him to "check your reaction" or to "think about your response" when he is communicating with an adult.  Also when he reverts back to bursting into tears, we remind him to "think about how you are responding" We then give him 30 seconds to pull himself together and then ask the question again. We also remind him to "lower your voice" when he starts getting loud and over the top.

 

James will, like any other child takes advantage of an opportunity to tell stories.  A lot of what was contained in the report from last week, we feel, was only shared at school because he was given an avenue/opportunity to do so.  James is a great story teller but when we can tell that his stories are getting over the top or that he is purposefully mixing stories and reality (sometimes with fibs or white lies) we shut that down immediately. 

A lot of what he had said at school had never been said at home because we do not give him centre stage to construct imaginary stories to use as reasons to explain his actions.  Of course we do encourage imagination etc, but there is obviously a time and place for everything.

As you are aware, my husband and I both work full time and it is impossible for us to be around for when James leaves for school in the morning. We were considering putting him into before school care however with his troubles with his social skills, we do not want to create another area within the school where he is having issues and getting into trouble until we feel that he has gained some control over his actions.

 

What we will be trialing from tomorrow morning and every Tuesday and Thursday morning is that he will be going over to our neighbour's house at 8am when his brother leaves for school. James will then travel to school with our neighbours and their children (they are also in SINPS)

We would like to monitor how he goes at school on those mornings. With less time to get himself into mischief, think negative thoughts or even have to catch the bus which as you know is not a pleasant experience for him at the moment, we are hoping that he may arrive at school in better spirits. Amanda, if you could please let me know via the communication book how he goes on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, that will be very helpful and appreciated.

Dr Silove and Vashti - I have left a voice mail on the clinical psychologist's mobile (referred by Dr Silove) in regards to making an appointment to see him with James - I will let you know as soon as I hear back from him.

I apologise for the volume of emails coming through at the moment but as you can appreciate, a lot of what is happening needs to be addressed and fixed immediately - this will be a lot more successful if both home and school are aware and on board.

If there is anything you can suggest that we do at home that you have found is working at school, please do let us know

Have a lovely week - keep dry if you can!

Kind regards

Colleen