random thoughts

ADHD is like:

A radio that isn't quite tuned into a station. You're mostly hearing static but every now and then something audible comes through.

or

Having 10 web browsers open on your PC, each with a video playing at top volume - trying to listen to and understand each one at the same time.

Questions from kids with ADHD:
What if I can never be fixed properly?
Why can't I just be normal?

When I look at my son I am proud - The strides he has made to overcome his ADHD leave me in awe of his determination and strong will.

I'm trying to teach him to celebrate his differences, to revel in them and be proud of them because they are what make him, to me at least, the most special little boy in the world. And I wouldn't change a single thing about him.

He has taught me how to be a kinder, better, more gentle mother and human being.

Despite the challenges we face each day, we face them together as a family, full of love and respect for each other.

10 things kids with ADHD wish teachers knew
1. The struggle is real - They are trying hard not to be different from their classmates and friends. It takes a lot of work to look like they don't have any problems at school.
2. Things are a lot more complex to them than you imagine - What's intuitive to you is a long and difficult thought process that they often don't have time for.
3. They worry, A LOT! They are constantly worried that they look different, that they will forget their homework, that they might say something wrong, or that they'll get into trouble.  They probably worry about every minute that they are at school. Sometimes that makes them tell wild stories to try to get out of school.
4. They feel stupid when they can't accomplish what their peers can.  They're not stupid, but they sure feel like it when things are hard for them and simple for others.
5. They are emotionally sensitive. They might seem like a cry baby but they feel things deeply.
6. They are literal kids. They cannot tell when their friends are teasing They take everything people say and do at face value.  They often feel like their friends are being mean to them.
7. They're smart! When given the time to fully process or a way to show what they know that doesn't involve completing a worksheet, they can shine.  Give them the opportunity to suprise you.
8. They're not lazy! There is a lot more going on in their mind than most people.  Plus, they struggle with planning, processing and organisation.  That can slow them down or make them not want to do the work.  And, their ADHD brain is interest-based - they can focus better on the assignment when it interests them.
9. Their weaknesses often make them feel like a failure.  You can help them a lot just by believing in them and encouraging them.
10. They don't intend to make you angry.  They want to do well.  They deserve love and respect, just like their peers.

Luke - Inattentive ADHD is a different shade on the same rainbow.

Things that are hard for me to admit:
1. sometimes I feel alone - Isolation is real. When people see what we are dealing with, we get 'politely avoided' - I don't hold it against them, but damn life gets lonely.
2. I feel left out - I appreciate hearing about your frequent family vacations.  We have had 1 family vacation since we became a family more than 14 years ago. Please don't mistake our lack of vacations with the lack of desire to have them.  Its just difficult for us, on way too many levels to explain to people who quite frankly don't want to know about it.
3. Money is always an issue - let me tell you, paediatritian visits and monthly meds are not cheap - add to that the cost of the quarterly tests to track improvement, and getting assistance for these costs - its minimal, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Lets not forget speech therapy, occupational therapy and psychologist costs - WEEKLY!
4. I take your opinions into consideration, but I know best - Only time and effort can bring real solutions and I have logged in plenty of both.  Sometimes its better to keep the opinions to a minimum and just offer a helping hand.
5. I'd love to teach your children tolerance - While some special needs individuals do not have the ability to demand tolerance, their loved ones do. If your child teases or bullies our children, expect to hear from me.  I'm used to fighting for my children and will not hesitate to speak up.
6. I hate when you assume our child will grow out of it, so stop asking - we're in this for the long-haul - if you're not willing to stick around and support, there is the door - I don't have the time nor the energy to make sure you're OK with all of this.
7. I'm tired - be considerate when discussing your poor nights sleep - I'm on years of sleep deprivation and as a result, often feel the physical and mental repercussions.
8. I don't have all the answers - I'm still learning, every-single-day! Every day bring new challenges. I research and ask as many questions as I can, but usually a new question follows a solution. Be patient with my family and I, we're doing the best we can.
9. I'm well aware of my child's short comings - and don't appreciate you pointing them out.
10. I need support - I may not always say it, but I need it and if it sounds like I need help, I probably do.  Offer to do the 'hard work', those tasks that may require you to feel uncomfortable or lose sleep, but they are the things I will not forget.  Sometimes it feels like I live in a constant state of chaos - help me get away.  Nobody can withstand this type of existence without feeling a little frayed.  Stepping in for any amount of time makes a world of difference.
11. I notice when you stop asking about my children - My child may not be the best in his class or year but he still has accomplishments and achievements.  Acknowledge the effort my child makes to do what most children take for granted.
12. I need to vent - I am thankful for the opportunity to raise these beautiful children but its a stressful job.  It can be depressing for you to hear but this is my reality and I can't escape it.  Please allow me a place to talk honestly and unload. And I want to do the same for you.
13. Going out in public is hard - I am on guard in public places.  I hear whispers, I see the stares, but I also know I have the right to public space. I do take others into consideration when situations become difficult, so please do the same.

Special needs parenting changes the heart and mind.
Parents like me can be the most empathetic and patient people you will ever encounter. 
And although I often face a great deal of difficulty with a smile, I'm sometimes hurting somewhere inside.  The guilt of not knowing or doing enough is constant, I often feel like things will never get better and yearn for friendships that will withstand.
Please know that I only wish to change the world for the better for children like mine. I want others to see the true gift of a child with special needs.